Current mood:

disappointed

A hat by any other name would not be as bling
Today I had a disappointing phone call from a friend of mine in Jamaica about some baseball caps that I sent over there. The story behind it goes like this:

As many of you know, there were two teenage girls who lived in Majesty Gardens that I became almost like a surrogate big sister to when I was in Peace Corps. I have kept in touch with them since Peace Corps, though not as often as I should, and their life has not been that happy since I left. So during a conversation about a month ago, after hearing about a series of bad things that had happened to her, one of my little friends asked if I would buy her a hat. "What kind of hat?" I asked. "A fitted hat, like the singers wear," she answered. Of course, I couldn't say no. Then, she asked if I could also send hats for her Aunt and two cousins. Four hats total. I was less instant with this response, but I eventually agreed to send four hats. If I can't give her a better future, why not buy her household some hats?

The problem was that I couldn't understand exactly what kind of hat she was talking about. She doesn't understand that have no sense of either American pop culture or fashion, and I decided not to try to explain that to her. Instead, I went on the internet to see what kind of fitted hats the "singers wear." I determined that it was probably a New Era cap, but they looked very similar to every other baseball cap on the market and many other caps claimed to be "fitted." And New Era fitted caps are expensive! There was no way that I could buy four. So I decided that I would compromise and find four hats in the colors and sizes they wanted in slightly lesser brands, but still brand name. I found Adidas and Reebok on sale online in the colors that I wanted, so I bought two of each and mailed them to Jamaica. Deep down I knew that Jamaicans make no compromises on brand names and bling bling, but I was hoping that they only wanted American hats from their American friend and that they would be happy with them.

My friend was very excited and concered about getting these hats. Before I sent them, she asked about them several times. After I mailed them, she asked if I could send them express mail (I sent them the cheapest air mail method) and then asked if I had insured the package.

Today, I got a call from my little friend and (after asking me to call her back because they never have money on their phone cards) she informed me that, "We got the hats today, but they're the wrong ones." I don't think she even said thank you. I told her that I didn't know the exact hats that she had wanted, so she had her cousin get on the line and explain to me that the hats had to be New Era 59Fifty hats, signified by the "NE" embroidered on the side. I was a little disappointed in myself for not buying the "right" hats, but I more disappointed that my friend cared so much about the brand to call and ask me to send different ones. I wouldn't necessarily prefer that she pretend like she loved the hats when she really didn't, but I wish that she could just be happy with an Adidas hat.

If she were my own daughter, I would tell her that brand name doesn't matter and she should be happy with what she has. But if she were my own daughter, she would also have been raised with love and affection and she would know how to read. I can't teach her the proper values over the phone and across an ocean. But I also don't have the money right now for four hats with "NE" properly embroidered on the side. So I told her I would try to send one authentic New Era hat sometime soon, then possibly send more for Christmas, if I have enough money (a big if). But she also asked for money for her school uniform, which I think is much more important, and I don't have much disposable income right now.

So what is the proper thing to do here? The whole thing leaves me feeling disappointed. Why does bling matter so much to some people?